Our Imperfections leave us flawless
by TheLastOfThem
Summary: They were defined long before they were certain of who they were. Rachel was Rachel. Quinn was Quinn. They couldn't believe it wasn't enough for everyone else.
1. Quinn

**Quinn Fabray from Glee is the saddest Character to have ever been on TV, she's complex and special and she needed her own development because let's face it, the writers butchered her. So here it is. (My version of it.)**

**There are a few changes, I totally ignored the 'Skank' stage Quinn went through, I'm sorry for all of those who liked that part of her. There was never Finchel. So if it's out of order I apologize, if I missed any details. Things like that. Keep in mind that this will be AU.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

When Lucy Quinn Fabray was born it was like watching stars connect to form a new constellation, everything about her was soft explosions and brightly lit darkness. Her hair was dark, so unlike her parents, but her hazel eyes were bright, unwavering and focused, though it was clear they were seemingly lost in wonder.

She exceeded expectations because she never met them.

Frannie giggled at the treasure in her mother's arms, happy to see her sister differently unique.

Russell frowned when his daughter didn't bare the blonde, blue eyed, Fabray Perfection. He swore silently that he would fix her.

Judy cried at the beautiful imperfection nestled against her chest.

* * *

Lucy lost herself in books; her mind raced and inside her eyes words were imprinted in black and white. Adventures, Magic and Romance ran free, in the confines of blanket forts and dim flashlights.

From an early age she knew she was different, where her family was flawless, she was mediocre. Her sister was perfection, with ease she succeeded in her violin recitals and winning over everyone and anyone she met. Lucy was withdrawn, a timid speaker and a vast thinker.

Russell Fabray did not take kindly to his youngest daughter burying herself in fiction, getting excited over characters that didn't exist and pointless imagination filled thoughts. So he forbid her from going to the library without him, took away every book she owned and burned it in the fireplace while he preached about God and disappointment. Lucy never understood how those two things fit in the same sentence.

Eating was her refuge; it was her constant and her escape. She ate till she was full, and then ate some more. She knew it tainted her families' portraits and muddled her families' image even further. By the time she reached third grade the kids became crueler, and Lucy Caboosey was born. She ran home that day, being eight years old and incredibly smart had its advantages, she knew exactly how many pills it would take to make her heart stop beating. Instead of gifting her father with her weakness and self loathing she walked to the fire place and cleaned the ashes of her precious literature.

* * *

A pretty girl with dark hair and equally dark eyes sat next to her the next day in school, she offers Lucy a hand and an open smile. "My name's Rachel Berry, nice to meet you!"

Lucy blushes a deep red, "I'm Lucy, and it's nice to meet you too. But, I don't think you should sit next to me, the other kids will begin to make fun of you too."

Rachel looked confused, doe eyes glazed over incredulously, "Why would they make fun of you? No one made fun of Harry Potter when his closest friend was an Owl. I secretly love Hedwig. I asked my daddies for him last Christmas, I never got him though."

Lucy laughed and smiled widely, practically crying over her new friend, "It's cool, I never got my letter from Hogwarts."

And on that day it seemed that heavy ships could float, and kids never grew up.

* * *

When she finally made it to the summer before ninth grade her mother drank in sorrow and her father left bruises on her pale skin. The kids never bothered to get to know her, only made fun of her weight and broke her down. Rachel remained, she stood tall despite her small stature and she kept Lucy afloat. The summer Rachel went to Musical preparation camp, she sank.

"You're nothing but a disappointment Lucy." Russell growled as his hands wrapped around the leather belt, his blue eyes trained on her form with malice.

Is it because I'm different? Lucy wanted to scream; instead she kept quiet and took the hits as the salty tears were pooling on the ground. She desperately needed his approval; she craved the smiles that only her sister seemed to receive. So with a submissive nod, she let him lead her.

* * *

She wore herself out every day, running ten miles in the morning, going to gymnastics for another four hours and her nights ended with short sprints around the neighborhood. Her weight was diminishing, her legs grew longer and her arms stronger. She excelled in gymnastics and her coach introduced her to Sue Sylvester, and with a scoff and an insult she was taken under her wing. She was stunning, a force to be reckoned with and the whispers around her died down, the stares becoming more frequent. And Lucy felt her insides becoming chipped away; the shallow shell that covered her was impenetrable.

When she bleached her hair blonde, had nose surgery and stopped eating, and when her body became something worth drooling over. Then her fingers picked up Pom Poms instead of books and her father wrapped her in his arms. He whispered proudly against her head, "Now you're a Fabray… _**Quinn.**_" Lucy was gone, and the shell was named Quinn.

* * *

The day she walked into McKinley High people gawked, boys stumbled over themselves and everyone begged for her attention. She took over the Cheerios with discipline, glares and perfect execution; she was the first freshman to become Head Cheerleader. An angry Latina named Santana became her wingman and she was soon followed by a tall ditzy blonde named Brittany, the Unholy Trinity was formed.

She dictated everyone around her, her word was law and her actions were held in high regard. Then she spotted Rachel Berry, standing there with a frown on her unconventionally gorgeous face and Quinn felt something stir in her chest. Rachel looked out of place with her argyle carousel sweater and Quinn knew that the only reason she'd wear something that hideous is because her grandmother had given her plenty of sweaters before she passed away a few months ago. She felt Lucy emerge from the shackles that kept her back and Quinn shook with anger, she would not let this happen, she _**couldn't.**_ Not when she was finally _**perfect.**_ Grabbing the slushy from Santana's hand, she sauntered over to Rachel, dousing her in blue ice. The first ever slushy torture thrown by her manicured hands.

"Hey RuPaul! Keep those ugly sweaters out of here. _**Loser.**_" Quinn gave her a sadistic grin and bit the inside of her lip painfully; doe eyes recognized hazel ones and Quinn panicked. But Rachel kept quiet and ran to the bathroom, everyone laughed while galaxies collapsed in Quinn's head.

By her sophomore year she is considered to be a deity, her rule expanding throughout every clique and staff member. Teachers fear her because they all know she can end their careers with a snap of her fingers but they respect her behind closed doors, knowing her intelligence surpasses anyone else's they've seen and she can become something more than just another Lima Loser. She has a chance.

Finn Hudson the Star Quarterback asks her to be his girlfriend through a poorly written text message, her father smiles when she says yes and her mother just looks away with disappointment.

Sue Sylvester asks Quinn, Santana and Brittany to join 'Glee Club' so that they could sabotage Will Schuesters chance of winning. Quinn sees Rachel, her tiny form hunched over a piano, she's belting out lyrics from the song 'You could be happy' by Snow Patrol and her figure is quivering. Dainty hands move across the piano, sliding over the tears without slipping, Quinn covers her mouth to keep from sobbing when she realizes that Rachel's probably used to it.

She gives people only what they think they want to hear, so she agrees to go to Pucks party. She's coaxed into drinking a generous amount of liquor and it burns in her throat, settling between her ribs, along the cracks. She's warm and carefree, in reality it's more of her being completely fucked up but she doesn't care. She stops caring, even when Puck coerces her into his bedroom and uses her insecurities to shed her clothing.

* * *

Quinn stares at the two lines, her palms sweating, her breaths moist against hot lips and she wishes she could curl into herself. Her father kicks her out, her mother sobs watery cries that sound like whiskey being poured into a bottomless glass and everything is crumbled around her. No one really wanted Lucy anyway, Quinn was always sought out for, but the name Fabray was inked into her skin with sharp lines and long curves. She swears she'll love her baby; she wants a good life for her child, even if that means spinning webs to capture lies. And she does lie, to Puck and Finn. When Rachel tells the truth, Quinn can't seem to hate her.

When Beth is born, Quinn thinks of Constellations and Suns, she kisses Beth gently on the forehead and whispers terms of endearment. She'll be happy with Shelby and she'll grow knowing that her heart is cherished by a woman who wanted her to live a far better life than she did. Quinn cries harder in that hospital bed than she did when her father beat her and her classmates bullied her. Someone whispers into her ear the second night she's there, "Everything will get better, even if the world seems like its ending in eruptions and silent yells." Quinn wishes she could dream with eyes open.

* * *

Another year passes, Junior year and she feels like crooked glass, fragile with all the edges sticking out. A boy named Sam enters her life and she becomes the Head cheerleader once more. Beth is with someone who can take care of her, Rachel's mother to be exact and she has a new boyfriend who likes her even if she is a cruel, insensitive, cold bitch to him.

Her mother leaves her father and she's allowed back home where it reeks of sorrow and alcohol. But she buries her head in her mother's hug and she just can't stop shaking.

Because she is trying and it isn't supposed to be this empty and hard.

* * *

Quinn enters her Senior year, all baby weight gone and her hair cut short, the ends of blonde tips neat and jagged, just like her. She looks like Grace Kelly and people around her start noticing her part in the constellations again. She has nothing to lose because what did she ever have truly gained? Her hand grips the cold metal door on the school entrance, and it's frightening how much she wants this year to be different. A small hand brushes her shoulder; Rachel Berry gives her an encouraging smile and opens the door for her. And she just _**knows**_ that things will fall into place, even if they start to tumble down again. Quinn never thought fresh starts would feel like printed pages and smell like new books.

* * *

**Not sure if this will be a multi-chap…. But I am adding Rachel's own chapter for certain.**


	2. Rachel

**The second part as promised, this is Rachel as I imagined her to be. She can still be the Rachel in the show but her feelings are entirely different from that. I wouldn't call her OCC, just easier to understand and relate too.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Shelby was supposed to be famous. She was supposed to have adoring fans, people fawning over her and that white burn of spotlight against her body.

Not a kid.

She replays it over and over again, the pregnancy stick scorching her hand and the weight of responsibility looming over her head like a cloud of bricks. She remembers hooking her leg over her windowsill and climbing down the fence that ran along her wall, her feet hitting the driveway with a crash and her hands cutting the air in half as she ran.

"You don't need to do this," the voice shouted in her head. The doctors clipboard was lying on her knees heavily; it had her legs pinned to the cold, metallic chair. She can't have a child, she needs to get rid of it, and nine months is far too long to wait.

There's an abundance of faces at the small clinic and the tear inducing smells of alcohol and cleaning supplies are evident with every intake of breath.

"Ms. Corcoran?" The nurse calls out. Light gray eyes find her brown ones and she can't hide the subtle look of disgust. "We're ready for you."

Shelby isn't ready.

* * *

Leroy and Hiram Berry. Their last name is _Berry._

And they're _gay. _

God has a sense of humor that she can no longer keep up with.

"You're perfect." Leroy says kindly.

"Absolutely! We can't wait for you to have our baby." Hiram chimes in with a delighted clap.

And it is – it's their baby, not hers.

* * *

Nothing can prepare Shelby for giving birth and holy _shit _it is painful. The doctors are chuckling nervously as she curses them to the depths of some ungodly hell and she can't help but think how colorful her language is.

Leroy looks amused.

Hiram is horrified and trying not to stare.

Then it's over.

And there's a loud cry erupting in the room. Shelby is amazed, awed even, at the pipes on the kid. She is hitting notes and reaching a pitch that is virtually impossible on newborns. (She did her research after all.)

Shelby reaches her hands to hold the baby girl, momentarily she thinks of how a great mother she could be.

Hiram and Leroy look at the baby nestled in her arms and she's certain that they will make the best of parents. Better than her.

They all agree on the name Rachel.

* * *

Rachel falls in love with the little things. Granted, they are magnificent but they shouldn't spark the interest of someone so young. Her fathers, Daddy and Dad as she deemed them, spoil her rotten.

When she's seven she stumbles into the living room and catches her father's watching an old movie with the lights turned off. She falls in love with the singing lady on the screen and the sweep of her legs and the elegant wave of her arms as she dances.

"Daddy," Rachel calls out softly. "Who is that? She's so pretty and her singing is so nice."

Hiram smiles and carries her on his lap, tapping her nose with his index finger. "That's Barbra Streisand, this is a musical. It's called Funny girl."

"She's a Broadway star." Leroy adds with a cheerful laugh. "Millions of people have seen this movie tons of times just to hear her sing."

Rachel wants that. Rachel wants to have people want to listen to her, to hear her when she sings. She just needs to be noticed, she has to feel like she's actually a part of this earth. "I want to be a star. I'll be on Broadway one day, I promise."

* * *

Rachel meets Lucy. Lucy is beautiful, why doesn't anyone notice? Lucy with big Hazel eyes and a wide smile and the most adorable laugh she's ever heard. Lucy who reads books whenever there is free time and who can recite quotes from the top of her head when she feels it's necessary.

They interact thanks to the same love for Harry Potter but they build a friendship on something else entirely. Rachel can't point it out, can't even begin to explain how she knows that they were meant to meet and be together.

Rachel knows that they'll be best friends. And when the other kids start teasing her for hanging out with Lucy, she just ignores them and ponders on whether or not to bring PB&J for lunch tomorrow. Maybe she'll bring an apple for Lucy.

* * *

Rachel is put in dozens of singing/dancing/acting classes every week. It makes her happy, keeps her busy and she's determined – she's sure that she'll be famous one day.

She really hopes so.

* * *

"I don't understand. Was I not good enough?" Rachel questions Hiram one night. Mashed potatoes are forgotten and the Vegan friendly entrees are steaming in silence as if inanimate objects could tell that the matter at hand was important.

"What do you mean? Honey," Hiram stutters and wipes at the lens on his glasses.

Rachel curls her fingers around the fork smiling sadly as she does so. "It's just… she didn't want me."

Hiram and Leroy look at her, "If I had been better or…. If I can be _someone _worth admiring then maybe she'd want some contact with me. She'd be proud to call me her daughter and I'd…" 'Fill up the space that remains vacant in my heart' Rachel thought.

Her parents remain silent, they can't supply the reassurance that Rachel seeks and they can't guarantee that someone they haven't spoken to in ten years still wants to meet their daughter.

* * *

Rachel's twelve and her lungs are constricting with every second passing; her hands balling into tight fists at the letter in her hand.

_Go back to Hell where you belong and take your unwanted, devil spawn with you._

The letter is signed in sharp lines, Russell Fabray.

* * *

Rachel is threading her fingers through Lucy's hair and she's trying to blink back the tears as she does so.

"I'll be back for High School and then we'll be together again." Rachel promises.

Lucy laughs darkly, quickly brushing her tears away and shaking her head. "Gosh, I am so sorry. You're grandma just died and I'm crying over you leaving for two measly months."

Rachel frowns at the reminder of her grandmother, "it's okay. She did make me swear to wear that horrid Argyle sweater and sinfully short skirt the first day of High School, so that should be eventful."

This time Lucy smiles genuinely and wraps her arms around Rachel. Rachel breathes in the familiar smell of book pages and lavender; she knows that she's leaving a piece of her heart with Lucy; woven in between the stitching of books and secret smiles.

That's the first time Rachel is sure that she's in love with Lucy.

* * *

She sends a letter every week to Lucy.

She never gets one back.

* * *

One day when they finish Vocal lessons and a game of soccer does she find an envelope on her bed.

Rachel wants to cry out in happiness because she's missed Lucy so frickin much and it has chipped her heart away every time she never received mail when the counselors stopped by.

_Stay away from my daughter. I refuse to let her be corrupted by your disgusting bloodline. If you ever speak to her again, if you even try to communicate, you will regret it. – Russell Fabray._

Rachel burns the letter in the fire hours later, the embers licking the stars above her head and spreading around the campers.

* * *

Rachel's back is pressed against the bunk of her bed and her groans are muffled by soft lips against her own. She's aware that this is not ideal camp behavior and kissing between roommates should definitely not be allowed. Especially considering that they're both girls.

But Willow is pretty with her light blue eyes and long, curly brown hair. But more importantly she reminded Rachel of what she left behind in Lima. Lucy.

Rachel was fourteen and hadn't even gone through puberty, although she knew that she was very, _very _gay. Willow had been the one to initiate it and Rachel really wasn't complaining.

When tan hands lifted Willow's shirt and caressed her ribs achingly slow did Rachel pull away. "I- I can't, there's…"

"Someone else." Willow finishes slowly and sadly.

Rachel wants to disagree and bury her guilt under her arm so that she could continue this, except she can't because love is filling every cavity in her chest and brimming over every nook and cranny in her body. "Yes."

"Will you at least sing with me tomorrow at our final showcase?" Willow asks shyly.

Rachel kisses her hard, it says _forgive me _and _I can't be the one for you, _"Certainly."

They carve stars on tree trunks and talk about being famous till their eyes close to the sound of comets and campfire songs.

* * *

William McKinley High is still trashy and cheap and downright barbaric as usual. Freshmen are getting tossed around carelessly and she's amongst the few who stand out (thanks to her grandmother's unusual dying request that she wear this hideous outfit).

Rachel stands by her locker with a frown and a biology book in her sweaty right palm. She can't help but wonder where Lucy is, she can't spot the familiar brown hair and the glasses that cover her Hazel eyes.

She feels the cold liquid before she sees it and it sticks to her body like a sin and travels slowly like a prisoner. She looks up to see full lips mouth words at her and harsh red cheerio colors distract her. Then she sees the long, impeccably styled pony tail and her confusion is slipping when her brown orbs meet Hazel ones.

_Lucy._

What happened over the summer? Rachel can't feel her body, her legs welded against the floor in brutal reality. She blinks once, twice, three times and her mind is chanting prayers to some foreign God.

"Hey RuPaul! Keep those ugly sweaters out of here. _**Loser.**_" Lucy snarls viciously. She sees the panic in hazel eyes; Rachel finally understands what had transpired over the summer, Russell happened and Lucy was gone.

Rachel walked quickly to the bathroom where she locked herself into the stall and slammed her palms on the mirror repeatedly.

* * *

Rachel starts the Glee club her sophomore year. No one wants to join willingly. So she convinces them with promises of becoming champions and maybe, one day, popular. Rachel can't handle friends so she acts stuck up and cordial with everyone.

She is swimming in a pool of fallen stars and broken hearts and it vaguely occurs to her that she's dreaming but she drowns in silence.

That same day she breaks every star hanging around her room and rips off the plastic stars on her ceiling; blaming her ambitions and hopes on the disappointment she feels.

* * *

Quinn. That's what Lucy calls herself now. Well, Quinn is pregnant.

Rachel tells Finn that the father is really Puck.

Rachel does it for revenge. For heartbreak.

Rachel feels like destroying everything she ever stood for.

* * *

Rachel is the only one at the hospital when Quinn gives birth. She slips into the room when she's sure that the blonde is sleeping. She whispers apologies and kisses the insides of each of Quinn's wrists lovingly.

"Everything will get better, even if the world seems like its ending in eruptions and silent yells." Rachel whispers against her forehead. She hastily retreats when Quinn smiles in her sleep.

* * *

She walks on needles with smiles and fake laughter, she sings with faux passion and her words are lost in the flurry of generic Pop music.

She masters the practice of indifference and indulges in a façade of 'Ok's'.

Rachel lives her life through a mirror, only watching and mimicking what someone happy should act like. The new kid Sam; she hates his name (him in general), sweeps Quinn over his shoulder and claims her.

Rachel wants Broadway.

Rachel needs Quinn.

* * *

She's used to no one wanting her. She was used to the teasing and the snide comments about her parents.

She wasn't used to Lucy not being by her side anymore.

She had tried to move on. She had tried to forget but it was like holding her breath in an ocean where waves crashed against her ribs.

Rachel isn't Rachel all junior year.

* * *

"We just want you back!" Hiram and Leroy plead.

"I'm fine." Rachel lies through clenched teeth.

A woman who resembles her walks into the living room, Rachel's mask falters and she chokes on her pathetic arguments. "No, you are not."

"Why is she here?!" Rachel desperately shrieks; her arms flailing in an attempt to push air away so she could just suffocate and pass out. Anything to drift away.

"You needed help."

"We couldn't get to you.

"You stopped being happy," Leroy cries quietly. Her parents leave the room and she finds herself wishing to be insignificant and small like a particle traveling in space.

Her mother, her biological parent she corrects, is sitting with a baby in her arms. _Beth. _Rachel recognizes Quinn's daughter immediately and the stake in her chest is thrust deeper than before. Shelby gets a part of Quinn, Rachel gets none.

"What broke you?" Shelby asks knowingly.

Rachel drops her head into her hands and scrapes her nails on her forehead. Rachel can't let it out of her mouth, the words that will finally tear through her paper guarded heart.

So she spills all, it is unleashed and Rachel is bleeding and pitiful in a heap of salty tears. When her body is pulled apart and Shelby puts her back together with glue and low, honest words does she realize that she's pieced together with something new.

Hope.

* * *

She throws away her argyle sweaters and puts back the stars in her room, she asks Kurt and Mercedes to go shopping with her and finally, she sings with love, happiness and hope.

* * *

Rachel walks up the steps to school and catches the short haired blonde watching the door with fear. She clutches her chest and gathers all the bravery she can muster as she glides to Quinn.

Rachel holds the door open for her, brown eyes engraving themselves into hazel ones with adoration.

Quinn smiles and yes, Rachel doesn't have to glare at the stars any longer.

She's found her place amongst the sky right next to Quinn.

* * *

**Hope you guys liked it!**


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